That Beauty and The Beast had an Invisible Transvestite Friend.

Starring: Daddy Ginge! (Aww).

In the interest of understanding my future mental decline science, I thought it best to document this conversation that happened a few days ago.

(No, it really did happen).

I should probably say that this was right after I took my dear father makeup shopping. To buy him makeup.

(Yes, that also really happened).

I don't know if you've ever seen the look on a shop assistant's face when she asks if you need any help and you tell her 'I'm going for a Sir Thomas Cromwell look' (except I do know- you haven't) but I get the feeling I could have said any of the following sentences to her, and received the same response that I did:

1) I'm looking for a lipstick that will work well in a risotto.
2) I had a dream about you last night and now I've found you, I just know we're supposed to be together.
3) I wish to wear your hair as a scarf.
4) I have a gun.

Anyways, after that fun little stop-off in Troubling Anecdoteville, here's the incident I was actually meaning to talk about:

The Incident

In which Ginge and Daddy Ginge discuss a play, in a scenario that's been made to look remarkably like a play... ohhh I see what she's done there..Yup. Brilliant.

SCENE ONE 

(A rainy Monday afternoon. A charming Ginger sits innocently in an arm chair in her living room trying to enjoy a cup of tea and forget about what happened in Boots this morning. On a sofa next to her, sits the mentalist she shares a house with).

DADDY GINGE

 (without warning)

Why don’t you join the village panto?

GINGE

Because, the fact this village is so very backward, their Beauty and the Beast doesn’t even have a frikkin French singing candlestick in it, makes me think all the tiny children, who have come to enjoy a well loved fairytale classic at Christmas time, might find the whole fiasco confusing and disappointing

.. Who are you playing? 

 DADDY GINGE

.. I've been cast as Barbara.

 GINGE

 (deep breaths...get it together now Ginge)

Oh good. I've always felt Barbara to be one of the unsung heroes of Beauty and the Beast, it's nice she's finally getting the air time she deserves. And have you thought about how you're going to play the role? Obviously you've got some tough acts to follow, she's been done by some of the greats.

DADDY GINGE

Have you thought about how you might be overreacting?

GINGE

Have you thought about how you're going to do 'Be Our Guest' with no HOST?!

FADE OUT

Yeah Village, stick THAT in your pipe. Xx