A Day In The Life of An Unemployed Graduate.

(WARNING: contains graphic imagery and examples that some readers may find disturbing).

7am: Waking up in the morning, gotta be fresh gotta go downstairs..

                 (No, but seriously, we should send them Jedward). 

8am: Check ‘sensible’ job applications email. No messages. Die inside.

                  Switch to fun Facebook/Twitter email. No messages. Consider suicide. 

9.30am: Decide suicide a bit melodramatic. Watch Jeremy Kyle to feel more like the Queen. (First bowl of porridge of the day). Cry hysterically every time Jeremy screams at a wife-beating, crack addict to ‘get a job’.

Oh Jezza, I do love a man with a stiff moral compass.

10am: Wash up bowl of porridge and despair tears. Do the rest of the washing up while I’m there to reinforce that I am still a valid member of the household. 

11am: Receive my daily cleaning from the cat. We're on the same wavelength now so whenever he washes himself, he takes it upon himself to give my arm the quick once over while we watch Homes Under The Hammer and discuss Sartre. Cat makes some valid points. I learn a lot from him.

The Magnificent Hawk

12pm:  Second bowl of porridge of the day. 

1pm: Start doodling picture of Ann Widdecome in her flight harness heyday on Strictly Come Dancing. Doodle gets out of hand. Decide to send it to my little brother at University, under the rationale, 'everyone likes getting post'. 

 4pm: (Yes I did spend 3 hours on that last bad boy). Discover my trusty plant companion has given up the ghost. He is the third this year.

4.02pm: Hold 2 minutes of silent contemplation in honour of the late Cofernicus III. Sleep well, my leafy baby. 

Cofernicus III

4.03pm: Refuse to be defeated by horrendous 'plant prevalence' track record. Start growing my own mug tree forest instead. I have high hopes for this new project. (Will keep you posted).

Current Tree Count in Mug-Tree Forest: 2

4.15pm: Find a brand new pack of Post-its. Things just got exciting.

5pm:  Daddy Ginge returns home. Stop labelling everything in the living room and put on my 'normal human' face.  

5.30pm: Enjoy a well earned coffee and swap hectic day stories with Daddy Ginge. He's had 2 meetings and 3 unresolved cases to deal with. I show him my picture. 

 Xx